“Many of the women have been in therapy and have gone through a process that helps them come out of tough situations,” explained Bromley. “Therapy may have helped them understand that they do not deserve to be victimized. It’s helped them find places where they feel stronger. If they’re not ready to get to that place, they might believe a mentor is making a judgment about them.”
Associates must be at least 18 years old and must be free of drugs, alcohol and domestic violence for at least six months in order to apply. The needs of different age groups vary, said Bromley. Most of the participants under 30 are single mothers, about half of them survivors of domestic violence. “They’ve had little if any success in their lives, but they are hungry for success,” she said.
Women between 30 and 45 tend to already have some accomplishments — an employment history and a semester or two at community college. “They have an understanding of what it is to begin to accomplish something,” explained Bromley, “but maybe they started out too soon with kids, or had bad relationships, or drug or alcohol problems. But they want to complete their goals. They know they can make a better life.”
There are also creative women in the program who lack the expertise they need to make a living with their talents. “Creative people are often not great time managers,” observed Bromley. “We pair them with women who have an appreciation for the arts and also a business sense, to help them create a business plan and use the Internet creatively.” For instance, a 71-year-old associate had a yearning to write a children’s book. She and her mentor worked together, and she succeeded in self-publishing her book.
Leaving the baggage behind
The program structure has been designed to accommodate the schedules of mentors with busy lives. One hour a week is required for consultation with the associate, preferably at least twice a month in person and the remainder by phone or email. Training and supervision are provided, and mentors gather monthly for mutual support.
Associates also meet as a group once a month, and Project HOPE offers talks on life skills such as budgeting and time management. The program helps associates view themselves as professionals, and mentors help their partners understand what values and characteristics are involved in professionalism. This change in attitude can be a stretch for women who are accustomed to what Bromley calls “an external locus of control — I do something because I was told to do it, instead of making a choice to do it.”
As women adjust to taking on responsibility, mentoring provides a relationship in which they can start from scratch. “Every other place in their lives, they’re followed by a train of baggage,” said Bromley. “Mentoring is a very much about being present in the moment and believing in the associate’s capacity to realize her vision. It is not focusing on the past.” In one case, a mentor did not detect tendencies in her associate which a psychiatric nurse would identify as indications of a personality disorder. “The mentor was able to relate to the associate in a straightforward fashion, with no mental illness tag,” a plus for the associate, said Bromley.
Once a year, a “Women of Accomplishment” dinner is held for mentors and associates to celebrate their successes. Woodstock resident and former teacher Sydelle Freed became a mentor after attending one of the dinners. “Hearing women and mentors describing their experiences,” said Freed, “I was crying within ten minutes. People who normally wouldn’t have anything in common were talking about how much they got out of it — on both sides.”
Project HOPE is recruiting mentors, who must be at least 30 years old. A training session is scheduled for December 7 in Kingston, and candidates must be interviewed ahead of time. To apply as a mentor, contact Judith Bromley at [email protected] or 845-559-5656. For more information on Project HOPE, see https://hopesfund.org/programs/project-hope/.
