[Brian Hollander for Almanac Weekly]: Have you seen this film?
[Sonny Rollins]: No, I have not. I’m not a movie star and I’d rather not see myself on a big screen, or hear myself talk. I’d rather avoid that if I can. And the director, Mr. Fontaine – who’s an old friend of mine, actually, and we did a film in the 1960s – I saw him a couple of years ago in London and he said, “Sonny, you’ve never seen the film; we have to see it together on the big screen.” And I said okay, hoping it would never happen. And of course this happened.
That’s kind of daring, seeing it for the first time with a lot of other people.
Daring? Okay, I guess so – or courageous, you could say that, or embarrassing…there might also be another word I could use.
I guess it’s okay. It’s hard for me to critique myself. I have a lot of trouble listening to my own records. My late wife, she used to do all that for me, and we had a great working relationship. She listened, and I trusted her judgment and her ears. But since then I had a hard time editing my own work.
Why is that?
I’m just super-sensitive. Everything I play could be better…I’m one of those people, “God, why did I do that? Gee, listen to that.”
But it’s so improvisatory.
Yeah, that’s what it is, basically. That’s who I am: an improvisatory guy; that’ll be on my tombstone. But it’s hard, you still want it to be… “Gee, I made a boo there, my reed squeaked there…” People don’t hear it like I do.
So Lucille was your critic. She’d say, “Maybe you shouldn’t be playing this, with this guy…or that tune?”
Oh yeah, because we were married; enough said. Everything was involved. We’d discuss everybody and every aspect of the music. By the time we were in the studio, I was there doing what I had to do and she had to critique that. She would do a lot of the listening.
Lucille passed in 2004, right there in Germantown, where we’d lived for 40 years. It was one of those things…My wife was somebody who had a mind of her own; it was hard to get her to do any alternative stuff, any exercise. She’d leave it to Providence.
We were very happy, had a long marriage – 40, 45 years, I think.
So there’s nobody that you trust to critique your work?
Not really. I’m working on an album right now – or CD, as they say these days – of previously recorded live performances, so I have to listen to them. I have to go through this ordeal. I’ve gotten a little better about it.
How are you feeling?
Well, I have this pulmonary fibrosis, so I had to stop playing the early part of this year. I realized I couldn’t get my breath, and they diagnosed it as that. It’s a difficult disease to work with. Right now I’m on an enzyme therapy; it goes for six months, been on it for a month and I actually feel a little better…and I think it’s working.
I hope so, because I’m the type of player, I always see the next step ahead of me, what I should be doing every time I play. And I practice a lot and I’m always learning a lot. And I’d hate to have my career stop with that now, because I just learned some new stuff recently that I want to play.
But on the other hand, so be it. If I can’t play anymore, that’s okay, because I’ve had a long career, I’ve done what I want to do: music all my life. I’m fortunate, I’m grateful…How can I not be grateful? I’m in the period now where I accept…but, you know, it’s hard for me to wrap my head around not being able to play…like, “God, how am I going to live?” I mean I played every day, I practiced every day…
But I’m in an acceptance period now, where whatever happens, it’s happening for a reason – you know, a higher power. And I don’t understand everything that’s happening when it’s happening…so I am accepting it now.
There’s still work to do on your recordings. Do you ever learn stuff from your recordings?
Yeah, occasionally that happens. As you know, when I improvise, it’s not written on a sheet of paper. I’m trying to get into my subconscious…When I improvise and I’m on the stage; I’ve learned the music I have to learn. But then when I’m on the stage, I go into my subliminal; I don’t want to think…You can’t think and play at the same time – not with real improvisational music. I’ve tried it; it doesn’t work. You just have to play and trust…well, you just play and let the music come through…A lot of times I don’t know where it came from; it’s my subconscious…So that’s the goal.
