Several shades of speed dating

7:46 p.m. — Devin

Ah, Devin. He likely traveled through the same time-warping wormhole as Ron, ‘cause no way was that man under 60. I soon moved past his age fib as I quickly surmised that Devin has a place on the autism spectrum. For some reason I have always been able to easily connect with that population. Devin proudly explained to me that he is an accomplished musician and author. Oh cool, I politely retorted, what have you written about? He responded with diligence. An unconventional type of music theory (I am being kind here), ethics, racism, sex and marriage, cannibalism … He was so boy-like; wholesome. Not to date, but just to appreciate how perfunctory, single-hearted and direct the autistic are. They are so … wait … what did he just say? Yup. Chapter 15. Cannibalism. I don’t know if we talked about much more beyond that topic. I became painfully aware of my every inch of exposed skin. Has it been six minutes? Is that Chianti in his glass? Fava beans on the menu?

7:52 p.m. — Seth

Seth was a petite-framed, fastidious and particular fella. Not bad looking. Articulate, intelligent, a recently divorced, full-time college professor trying to get back on the scene, without being on the “scene.” Seth was one of the few who inquired about my status. “You can explain it to me,” he assured. “Everyone here has a ‘story.’” What he meant by “story” was that he was kinda divorced but not really totally divorced, more like separated, legally separated but not really “legally” separated, but it was over, definitely over. That was for sure. There was at first the slightest hint of attitude toward the ex-wife, which ultimately gained speed into a rant by the end of the six minutes. As bright as Seth was, and understanding of the complicated 21st-century backstories in divorce, there was no way Seth could ever change a tire or shoot a snake, which is actually my personal metric and criterion.

Positive response

At the conclusion, pretty much everyone bolted rather than lingered, including Wes and me. There was a lot to process. We went out to dinner to discuss, compare notes and thumb through Devin’s book.

The next morning, I received an e-mail thanking me for my participation. Every single man had selected me for another date. Wow. I was, umm … flattered? I texted Wes to see how he did, but in usual fashion, he couldn’t be bothered to even check. After some snarky Facebook posts on the topic, I was asked by a few, “Was it worth it? Would you do it again?” Heck yeah, I replied. It was a blast. The event organizer told me that several scheduled men did not show up for various reasons, so I would have had more “dates” that evening. Regardless, the evening was thoroughly enjoyable for me; its structure and venue were easy and comfortable. And frankly, I wouldn’t want to miss out on meeting a single one of them for the world.