On the other hand, I don’t agree with Mel Brooks, although what makes his quote funny is the kernel of truth hidden within. We never do react as strongly to tragedies that occur to someone else with anywhere near the emotional impact that we do when something happens to us.
When my mother would try to get me to eat my vegetables by telling me about the starving children in Europe, I wondered why we just didn’t send our vegetables there. I never did understand the logic. How was my eating my food going to help the starving children in Europe?
I still feel really awful about the loss of my vegetables. I ask myself why this sadness lingers even when I keep telling myself that it’s not nearly as bad as what most people are going through. Is this a character flaw unique to me?
In the last few days I have asked several dozen people if knowing that someone else lost more than you has taken away, or permanently put in perspective, your own loss? “Be truthful,” I said. “I am not going publish your name.”
It doesn’t seem to have worked for anyone. Each person’s pain is their own and from minuscule to enormous, their loss is significant to them.
I have listened to a lot of complaining since Irene came and went. In each case I refrained from saying, “Be grateful that you did not suffer more.” All this would have accomplished is making the person feel guilty when this advice did not work.
As a community, we have all been through something strange. I have lived here since 1966 and nothing like this storm has ever happened before. Whether or not we feel each other’s suffering as keenly as our own, we are all connected by having survived the hurricane.
If we wait to be moved by gratitude and compassion alone before we act, we may wait too long. We must just do it. All that is required is to Google search, “Hurricane Relief Ulster County” and all the information on how to help is there.
I have learned one big, philosophical and important truth from the devastation to our farm land. Now I know I must appreciate and never again take for granted the exquisite and magical beauty of the sunflowers on the Flats leading toward the mountain. I will be grateful to the Ferrante family in all the years of abundance to come every time I drive towards the mountain and see those magnificent flowers turning their faces towards the sunrise in the morning and the sunset in the evening.
Author’s note: I am proud of all the members of my CSA for the way they handled the destruction caused by the Hurricane. No one has asked for their money back, as some people have done in neighboring communities, which is shameful. Instead, members have offered to pay for next year’s season so that the farmer can move past this catastrophe and get back to restoring his farmland. Joining a CSA connects us to earth, the seasons, the years of drought, rain, cold and hot weather. Some years the crop is magnificent, other years impoverished. No matter what, whether a good year or bad, joining a CSA connects us to the earth. This is a connection lost to most people in modern times. That disconnect takes its toll on us spiritually, psychologically and emotionally. I am grateful for this connection that our local New Paltz farmers provide.
